The Response from the Universe Part II

It’s not always overt when the Universe responds. Rarely is the message a blinding neon sign in the sky that says: Go this way. Or follow this path. Instead, the message is subtle. So subtle in fact that it’s easy to mistake it for a coincidence. But when you see something at just the right time you need to see it, or something/someone comes into your life at just the time you need it one can’t help but wonder, is this a mere coincidence, or something more?

Yesterday’s existential crisis had me heading towards emotional, but as I look through my usual email newsletter feed, I noticed an article from Writer Unboxed that seemed to pertain to my thought processes that had led up to this existential crisis.

Wants vs Shoulds:

The article’s crux was essentially that a lot of us have this idea of how we should be doing something, or how far we should be on a project and this creates a spiral of guilt that in many cases make our work output even less frequent.

Part of my existential dread is that because I am not currently working on a project that this somehow means I cannot reasonably call myself a writer much longer. After all, if one doesn’t write every day are you even a writer?

My boyfriend made a similar point to the article, but the main takeaway I got from all of this is that ultimately not writing, or even not blogging with any kind of frequency, doesn’t make me a bad person. It doesn’t make me less of a writer. But if I’m only keeping up any kind of blog schedule because I should then I’m going about it all wrong. Why is it, I’ve published 3 blog posts in 2 days? Because I want to. I have a lot I want to talk/write about, and so here we are. Outside of my normal “timeline”. Because saying I’m going to blog these days and these days is tricky.

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Cautiously Optimistic

1adfc2_be51051e2ec544f0b195953a6f9b39d5-mv2_d_1250_1250_s_2I’m not particularly known for being an optimistic person overall. I like to consider myself something of a realist, but I realize that I lean towards the more pessimistic side of things and honestly I’ve come to accept that about myself especially over this past year. Still in spite of everything, I can’t help but want to be, if not optimistic then cautiously optimistic about this coming year. I’m not altogether sure why, I’ve certainly never felt this way that I can remember.

Ironically or perhaps paradoxically to my credit, I have come to surround myself more and more with positive people. My best friend and co-podcast host Adrianne has always been an optimist, my boyfriend is an optimist, even my mother to a large extent is an optimist, as are some of my favorite co-workers. So there’s always a lot of positivity and optimism coming at me from all sides. Which is both nice and a bit odd.

I’m not sure I can ever be an optimistic person like they are. Whatever inspirational/motivational quotes would like to believe about the matter, I don’t think everyone is genetically predispositioned to be optimistic or even happy all the time. Prior to the year before last and even some of last year admittedly I didn’t think I was capable of being genuinely happy for more than a brief period of time. What I’ve learned however is that I can be, with help from those who love and care about me. It’s an odd thing to be a pessimistic person surrounded constantly by optimism, and maybe in some way it’s started to rub off on me, which is why I can feel even cautiously optimistic for the coming year. It’s refreshing, and I want to believe that it’s also a good thing that won’t disappoint me in the end, for now however I’m learning to live in the moment, and take things one step at a time.