End of an Era

Over the past 11 years, I’ve written, hundreds of blog posts. Some forever lost to time. Some political, some personal, some just random thoughts on writing and how I was doing, to update those who followed my blog and my progress. In that time I amassed as many as 500+ followers close to a thousand between subscribers and email followers and I loved it more than I hated it most days.
But lately, I find myself caring less and less about the blog that brought me to where I am today. I blog out of habit, or maybe, fear that I’ll miss some great opportunity if I stop, but the thing that I’ve come to realize is I’m not sure I really love it anymore. I enjoy it at times– it’s a way for me to get my thoughts out that tends to be more focused than my vlogs are (currently), but I can’t help but wonder, am I simply holding onto the past because I’m too scared of what it would mean to let go of it and live in the present?
I love vlogging, I love sitting in front of the camera and sharing my thoughts and ideas in such an organic way. I love just being able to talk about whatever and even more importantly I love being able to have that communication with people who watch my content. For a long time now with blogging, one thing that’s been missing has been communication. There’s plenty of people who follow my blog via email, or subscribe to it or even people who just see posts and like them, but the amount of people who comment on posts is few and far between. It’s isolating, writing has always been an isolating process and I suppose that’s to be expected, but when you have an opportunity to have a greater interaction with some sort of fan base, it’s hard to pass that up.
I’ve thought long and hard about this decision, and it’s been difficult. There’s a part of me that will never know if this is a good decision or not, but I realize the only way I’m going to know if I’m making the right decision is just to do it and go from there. I loved blogging. It’s a way to write in a more personal way than I’m used to, but I can’t help but feel that maybe, these days, it’s holding me back just a little. I need to give myself the chance to take a step back.
That is why, going forward from this blog post– I will be taking a break from blogging– for the rest of the year– three months, to give me time to figure out whether or not I actually miss it, staying, completely away from it.
Then, in January, I’ll come back to the blog– and I’ll figure out if this is something that I still miss or if it’s something that I’ve just been holding on to. So here’s what I ask… I know that if you follow me here you likely prefer written content, so if you still want that you can follow me on Twitter @narcissadeville but if you really want to hear my full thoughts and largely unfiltered voice. Please check out my YouTube channel, at the link below.
Thank you. And I’ll see you in 2018.
-Cissa.

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