The Great Bathroom Debate


This is what a trans person looks like

I had planned for today to be a review of Gillian Flynn’s the Grownup, an ironic title choice if ever there was one considering we don’t currently have a grownup in the White House, however, recent events have made it clear to me that we need to discuss a thing. A very serious thing. A thing that should not be a thing, but yet here we are. Discussing it. Because this is an issue yet again.


And it’s about bathrooms.

That thing we all use, and we all mostly take for granted because why would you have to think about using a bathroom? It’s a bathroom. You just go. Right?

Not if 45, and ‘small government champions’ like North Carolina have anything to say about it. (Which is another blog post entirely I assure you).

Going to the bathroom should be a simple thing. It’s not political, it’s not even controversial, but that I even have to say that, tells me how very wrong I apparently am. So let me share a story with you that I wrote the other night on Facebook:

Here’s the thing, about this bathroom thing. Not to toot my own horn but thanks to super good genes, makeup, lace front wigs, and Torrid, I pass for cis pretty well. But even then. EVEN THEN, I STILL get anxious using public restrooms. Why? Because I know who I am. And no matter how far I’ve come in my transition I know that being trans in a public bathroom means that someone can decide to start shit. For so so long early in my transition I was so self conscious that I couldn‘t imagine going to work without makeup on. I agonized over the idea that facial hair might poke through. I spent so much time worrying about things that most people probably wouldn’t notice. But the truth is, I had to be prepared just in case someone did notice. These days thanks to one very special person in particular, I’ve gained a lot of self confidence back. I’ve gained an IDGAF what people notice or don’t notice about me. I’m fortunate enough that I can afford to feel this way (or perhaps too tired to care). Yet still going to public bathrooms as a woman is stressful. Do we really wanna put that kind of stress on young people who have enough to worry about? Really? You’re not protecting anyone. You’re patting yourselves on the back for a ‘feeling’ of safety. More to the point, how is this even a debate? I realize we’re only recently well known, but you realize trans people have been using the bathroom since the beginning of time right? We didn’t just appear out of nowhere in the mid-2000’s. We weren’t invented by Democrats to make white male Republicans feel weird because they have a hard-on for us. Like… stop.

No one (btw) transitions just because they had nothing better to do on a Saturday night. It’s necessary. I so admire young people who know themselves well enough to be able to say I am trans. It took years for me to get to that point. #ProtectTransYouth

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