When I was thirteen, I realized that I was attracted to boys. I had never really given the subject much thought, but when it finally occurred to me, I knew I was in trouble. I couldn’t be gay, I just couldn’t be, I thought, I remember praying for a long time that I could be ‘normal’. I had told myself that it was fine for other people, but I could not be gay. I was made fun of enough for being overweight, and obviously effeminate, this would only make things so much worse.