I consider myself a fairly open person, sometimes perhaps, a little too open. When it came to dating particularly online dating, I decided early on that I was going to disclose my being trans right from the get-go, but also, because I know that some people don’t exactly read your profile, I decided to make sure that anytime a guy messaged me, he was already fully aware of what he was getting himself into. Disclosure can be a touchy subject when it comes to dating while trans, but the one thing I’ve taken away from far too many news stories of trans women being murdered over the last few years is that inevitably, if you are trans, and you did not disclose that fact to a person you were either dating or sleeping with, and you end up murdered, it’s pretty much going to be seen as your fault, and honestly… beyond being completely unacceptable and disgusting, I decided that as much as possible I was going to make sure that I was always straightforward about the fact that I am trans.
I also make it a point, because this fact seems equally important to ward off chasers, to disclose the fact that while I am currently pre-op, I don’t intend to stay that way, so if you’re hoping for some she-male fantasy, you’re going to have to find it somewhere else. I’d like to take this moment by the way to say that I am in no way kink shaming, or sex shaming anyone, every trans girl is different and what they chose to do in the bedroom, is not for me to judge. That said, the conversation does need to be had because hey, there are certain things that I am not going to be comfortable with. For most guys, particularly cisgender guys, being the first trans girl they’ve ever been with in any capacity means there’s a learning curve, and however awkward the conversation is going to be, it’s important to be upfront from the get-go about what you need and want.