“What other people think of me, is none of my business,” says Veteran drag performer RuPaul of her detractors. It’s a brilliant motto, and one I’ve strived to adopt for myself, so why is it that I often find myself worrying about what other people think of me?
Not all that long ago, but long enough ago that it feels like it was a lifetime, I never really gave a shit what people thought of me. I didn’t really care if people liked me or hated me, whether in my personal life or in my blog. I wasn’t exactly fearless by any means, but I certainly didn’t let it hold me back, and for the most part in my personal life people seemed to get a long with me rather well.
More recently however, my inner dialogue and self doubt, particularly surrounding my blog has often questioned, who cares? Why would anyone want to read this? I began to second guess myself so often that after a while I stopped even trying. Even as I type this, the little voice of anxiety creeps in, why are you writing this? Who cares? Who even are you?
I realize now however, that at the very least, I care, I’m writing this largely for me. Because I love blogging and I love sharing my stories. If people read them, and see themselves in my words and see themselves in my story, that’s great, and that’s definitely what every writer hopes for, especially me. But at the end of the day, my blog is my story, and it’s one I want to tell again. So whether people enjoy it or not, I’m going to keep trying, and keep perfecting my blog, and keep doing what I love. I may never stop wondering who cares, but I’d like to believe that maybe my caring, is enough.